Ready or Not, Here I Come!

Life is like a cosmic game of hide and seek. Or so I thought. I often pictured God's plan for my life as a set of blueprints hidden in the heavenly forest and my role was to find it. Once found, it would be the key to unlocking my destiny: my direction would be clear, my purpose revealed! I hesitated to take a single step, fearing it might take me off the course plotted out for me on this yet-to-be-discovered map. Then I realized that in never taking a step, I could never find the treasure.
So I began to walk.

As I set out in search of the map, I encountered many obstacles: people who robbed me when I least expected it, dark places where even the moon seemed to hide its light from me, days of hunger when I longed for food or something to drink, and violent storms that threatened to send me home running. There were hardships, for sure, but I began to realize a newfound confidence that was born of adversity, as though the muscles of my faith were being exercised and strengthened through resistance. It was not a confidence in my own abilities but in the One who allowed me to overcome these obstacles. I felt like David, who, after killing many bears and lions as a shepherd boy, could face a giant with courage, because he knew his identity. He was one of God's kids and the One who had been with him in every one of those battles would be with him in this one as well. He had no reason to fear. And neither did I.

Once the blinders of fear were removed, I was able to look around and see the bigger picture...there was no such map to be found! God was plotting my course as I took each step. He gave me several paths to choose from as I went on my search and then He allowed me to decide the direction of my steps. God said that if I sought Him instead of the treasure, I could begin to do the things I wanted to do, trusting that my desires would reflect His. Sure, He's got good things planned for me to do--He says that in the guide book He gave me as I set out on my way--but I've learned that my job is not to figure out what they all are before doing any of them.

You see, as has often been said, the journey is just as important as the destination. God didn't want me to be so focused on finding the map that I forgot to enjoy my time with Him along the way. He wanted me to look around, see the opportunities all around me, and follow my heart. As I look back, I see an interesting map. It's riddled with twists and turns that seem a lot like detours or wrong ways, but I know God allowed me to venture down those roads for a reason. There were many battles as well, but I see that God had my back and allowed me to survive them, with greater faith as a result. So, this is the journey I am on: one in which I focus more on being the person God created me to be than on doing the things I think He has created me to do. If I can get a handle on the "being" part, the "doing" will naturally follow.

And that brings me to Portland. To place my life in the context of community. To live out a living faith in the presence of others who seek to do the same. To learn the difference between unity and homogeneity. To give up my comfort and autonomy for the sake of the Kingdom and of others. (And for my own sake, as well, I suppose.) This is the way we were designed to live. Look at the life of Jesus; it seems pretty clear. I see God at work in the Sumner House and in the Evergreen Community at large, and I want to be a part of what He's doing here--not because I saw any skywriting telling me this was where I needed to go but because it's written on my heart. It's yet another step in my journey. I don't know exactly where the road will take me, but that's alright. I don't need to. I know where I am right now, and that is all that really matters. I'm following my heart and in doing so, I'm helping draw the map.